Jews & Royalty

Panini’s ‘Rabbis Of The World’ collection failed to match the popularity of ‘Euros 2012’

What follows is the gut wrenching transcript of Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sack’s ‘Thought For The Day’ transmitted on Radio 4 in the run up to the Jubilee’s Nuremberg style propaganda exercise. Now, I’m not Jewish but I do have distant relatives from Cheetham Hill in the tailoring business. Maybe there are some Jews who believe that their ‘community’ exists as a seperate ethnic or ‘racial’ group rather than simply a religious preference. But then there are some people who believe in Aryans,  Nubians, Scousers and bigfoot. 

The descendants of Shem may lay claim to a land and a God that say is theirs by right or by origin but that’s their shtick. Yes, I know that Hitler and other racist nutters saw them as ‘other’ as ‘sub-human’ and killed Jews in their millions but they were self-deluded too and refused to believe that both the Germans and the Jews were descended from the same bunch of monkey fucking cavemen. 

What most ‘Jews’ if they call themselves such, should be offended by are people like the chief rabbi who claim to speak for all of them. Big Jews, small Jews, white Jews, black Jews, ginger Jews, gay Jews, Jews for Jesus and Jews for Palestine, orthodox and progressive, Zionist and Communist. In all the gallons of revisionist, sycophantic spew that we had wade through the other week, this struck as by far the most toe curlingly creepy.  

“Among my first memories, I was four at the time, was of Her Majesty becoming the Queen. My father went out to buy a television – a huge piece of furniture with a tiny screen – so that we could watch the coronation. In my first days at school we were taught the national anthem and I can remember thinking that the words “long to reign over us” were about the weather, which was why England was so wet.

Start with a joke, Johnny. Reign/Rain – you’re no Lenny Bruce but this’ll have em eating out of your hand.  

She reigned, I thought, exceptionally well, and so she has in the true sense for sixty years. Jews are intensely loyal to the Queen. Every week in synagogue we say a prayer for her and her family. Each time we see her in person we say a special blessing, and tomorrow we’ll be saying a special prayer for the diamond jubilee.

Well speak for yerself Sacksy. I’m sure there are plenty of jews (and gentiles of course) who despise the queen and the royal family. Ah but you’re one of the special people who see her in person. Oooh get you! Not that you’re in any way boastful, as that would be bad form for a humble chief rabbi. Why do you say a special blessing anyway? What has the queen ever done for you?

Two thousand years ago the rabbis said, pray for the welfare of the monarch for were it not for respect for him or her, people would eat one another alive.

Ah, so it’s all monarchs not just the protestant christian Anglican jew murdering monarchs of England. Gotta love them royals eh? King David himself was a King after all and Kings are really great people. If it wasn’t for kings and queens we’d all be cannibals and that’s a scientific fact dating way back to the time of the Pharoahs and the Caesars who were such nice people.

Strong words; but ones Jews and others feel in their very bones. My late father came here from Poland. My mother’s family came from Lithuania. Had Britain not let them in they would have died in the Holocaust, and I would never have been born. For us Britain’s tolerance and traditions of fairness aren’t something we take for granted. They are the very things that allow us to live without fear. And they are embodied, personified in her Majesty the Queen.

OK, they MAY have died in the holocaust and probably WOULD have but y’know Britain didn’t go to war to save the Jews or defend democracy, they went to war because they HAD to, because they had economic interests to defend. This British ‘tolerance’ also applies to other nations y’know and what’s so good about ‘tolerance’ anyway, is tolerance defined as not gassing someone? Yay for UK! And if ANYONE personifies tolerance it’s her majesty, that very tolerant woman who spends so much time tolerating her kids and grandkids and normal non-royal people.    

For most of us she’s the human face of national identity, the unifying presence at the heart of British life, to whom we feel loyalty whichever way we vote, and regardless of class, colour, culture or creed. It was intensely moving on Tuesday of this week in the House of Lords to hear Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh and Zoroastrian peers speak of how much she means to each of our communities, and we need that unifying presence all the more, the more diverse we become.

This is the WindsorPLC ‘communities of all faiths’ we’re all in it together strategy. Listen, we know there are some killjoy lefties out there and that by having the queen as head of the state church, it could maybe look as if all those horrid catholics and muslims and jews and darkies might not love her as much as every single right-thinking white person but that’s a lie because EVERYONE  Loves Raymond. Make sure you put that in your speech ‘Lord’ Sacks, that’s why we made you the nation’s Top Jew.   

For sixty years the Queen has spoken gently to the better angels of our nature. Hers has been the quiet heroism of service, the dignity of dedication to the common good, the good that’s so much bigger and nobler than self interest.

Bleeeeeurrrggggghhhhh! I’m 46 years of age the Queen has NEVER once spoken gently to the better angels of MY nature (no doubt because I don’t have any). Define ‘heroism.’ Define ‘dignity.’ Define ‘dedication.’ (that’s whay you need, if you want to be the best, if you want to beat the rest!). I’ll give you a thousand names from my own life who have displayed all these qualities more manifestly than the queen. As for self-interest. The queen’s not self-interested? No way, she gets out of bed because she loves YOU.   

She makes us a little better than we might otherwise have been.

Listen mate, she may have made YOU a little better than you might otherwise have been. I’d have been the same snarly, militant bastard with or without her lad.

A third century rabbi used to say: where you find greatness there you find humility, and that has been her Majesty’s greatness. May God bless her, for she has truly blessed us.

Another rabbi used to say ‘I am humble of heart, you can only get to God through me’ so let’s go easy on the humility eh? You can be great and humble, only if others say iit’s so, otherwise that would look like boastfulness and self-interest and we know her Majesty isn’t in it for the castles and the mansions and the holidays and the cars and the feasts and the servants and the adulation and the parades and the ribbon cutting and the millions and millions and millions hoarded away in offshore bank accounts. No way, only a cynic would say that. God may bless her but that’s His problem.

Maybe J-Sac’s just too assimilated to notice that the Windsors haven’t always been massive fans of his tribe and that far from being the embodiment of good old British tolerance and fair play, the royals and their paymasters in the city kind of enslaved millions of people and stole their land much as the Egyptians and the Babylonians and the Greeks and the Romans enslaved and exploited Judea way back in the day.


Martin Amis & The State of Islington

Even ‘chavs’ and rapists can win the lottery you know – that’s why it’s called a fucking lottery.

Martin Amis is a gifted writer. He knows loads of dead long words. He can string em together pretty well too. But he’s no James Kelman. Whereas Kelman is always described as a ‘working class Glaswegian’ writer, Amis never gets called an ‘upper class London writer’ and whilst Kelman gets plenty of stick from the critocracy for his depiction of ‘the proletariat,’ Amis is allowed free reign to vent his public school spleen on those he sneeringly portrays as slovenly, shallow, almost sub-human, as if Wayne and Waynetta Slob were real life ‘Walford’ characters. This is reality filtered through layer upon layer of media misrepresentation, class prejudice and wilful ignorance.

Kelman at his best ranks alongside other Celtic lyricists like James Joyce, Dylan Thomas and Sam Beckett whereas ‘Marty’ is a mere essayist with delusions to literature. Take two books, Kelman’s Booker winning ‘How Late it Was, How Late’ and Amis’s ‘ ‘Money’ and the gap in both talent and humanity becomes clear. Kelman is sneered at by the type of critic who worship at the Amish altar because he uses the word ‘cunt’ too much and is accused of writing in the Glasgow dialect as an anti-intellectual provocation. Amis’s own gimmicks such as using backwards dialogue and satirical character and brand names are simply the tell tale signs of a master. John Self. Will Self. How very Nee-chah!

His latest book, ‘Lionel Asbo (he’s ‘with it’ Mart, ASBO being such a 2012 phenomenon they’ve recently been replaced by SCUMBOs) is obviously based on ‘Super Chav’ Michael Carroll who won £9.7 million on the National Lottery much to the Daily Mail’s disgust. Amis’s character wins a larger amount, £139 million and the novel apparantly looks at the culture of  “surfaces, trivialities and vulgarities ” that surrounds the Rooneyesque ‘hero’ of the title.

Rooney ofcourse and his wife, Colleen come in for plenty of stick from the self-elected moral guardians of the ‘free press.’ How dare these two scouse guttersnipes dare to earn vast fortunes despite their lowly backgrounds, their vulgar displays of wealth and their lack of intellect. All these perceived ‘flaws’ could be levelled at the royal family ofcourse or anyone else who inherits wealth from their parents (Amis for example) and at least Wayne in particular can claim to be one of the very few truly gifted players this country has produced for a generation.  He is paid according to his skills whereas the royals are rewarded simply for being born into a series of ‘arranged/forced’ marriages that would shame the most conservative Pakistani patriarch. The type that Amis really hates and regards as the ‘enemy’ despite his own rather obnoxious views on women.

Amis desperately wants to be regarded as some kind of wise teller of truths, a man who can see the big picture but his most infamous essays on pornography and islamism have exposed him as just another narrow minded, upper middle class, frightened bigot who views the world in terms of ‘us’ and ‘we’ and ‘our’ rather than as individuals capable of existing beyond the confines of a subjective national identity. Amis tells fellow Oxbridge sneerer, Paxman On last night’s Newnight how proud he is to be English but his version of ‘Englishness’ is as selective and unrepresentative as Cameron’s or Miliband’s.

Like his great pal and fellow sneerer, Chris Hitchens,  Amis didn’t really get on with the type of upper class English gels he was supposed to breed with and once he gets goosed by an American groupie, it liberates him from the repressive sexlessness of the British. But the boys and girls of inner city Britain have always fucked and boozed and drugged themselves into oblivion so there’s nothing new about Lionel, as there was nothing novel about Hogarth’s despiction of Georgian gin wives 250 years ago. This may appal the ‘refined’ tastes of the middle classes but Binge Out Britain has a long and noble history dating right back to Stonehenge mushy sessions.

Amis, like Paul Dacre and others of their class and generation, have a puritanical and hypocritical disgust for young, working class women, the type who get their tits out in Spanish and Greek holidays resorts, stumble across city streets in high heels, vomitting onto the pavement and have the temerity to have sex and raise children without the safety net of a rich sugar daddy or professionally qualified husband to take care of them. It’s OK for debs and starlets to live lives of shallow sensualness as their brand of debauchery is socially acceptable to the wannabe aristos of Middle England. Amis and his elitist chums, the male, post-war, public school academics, writers and politicians  who now hold economic and cultural power fear female sexuality yet desire it too. This makes them feel insecure and unmanly and so they take it out on those who live ‘on the surface.’

Lionel Asbo is the anti-Amis, perhaps like John Self, the ‘anti-hero’ of ‘Money’ the kind of man that Marty secretly wants to be, living for immediate gratification, existing from hour to hour, day to day, spending, fucking, snorting; y’know enjoying himself without all the intellectual angst or moral hang ups of the chattering classes. Morality is a middle class concept ofcourse, something the ‘lower orders’ know nothing of. As Oscar put it;

“Really, if the lower orders don’t set us a good example, what on earth is the use of them? They seem, as a class, to have absolutely no sense of moral responsibility.”

Now Ozzy was speaking with his tongue firmly stuck up Bosey’s arse but he was reflecting the same sentiments that exist widely in the present political and cultural spheres of both the left and right. What ‘right’ do those like Carroll or Colleen, Wayne or Waynetta have to breed and spend and breathe and spoil this land; the state of England. Amis ofcourse lives in America and therefore has some neck moaning about the state of anywhere. Kelman’s lives are real lives, lived in real cities, whereas Amis’s lives are unreal, lived in a sensationalised and superficial tabloid distortion. Despite the vast amount of media space devoted to him and his ‘work’ Amis is little more than a ‘thinking man’s Jeffrey Archer’ for the Islington literati set.

Maybe we can discuss it over canapes at Hay eh?

The soft left and patriotism – the old lie pt 984

It’s Johnny English – super patriot!


Ed Milipede’s latest attempt to suck up to editors of the right wing press is yet another example of how the New Labour strategists continue to pitch their ideological tent in the shifting sands of the so-called middle ground. Never mind the Murdoch/News International scandal and the utter contempt felt by millions for the gutter press, ‘Red’ Ed is still terrified of being portrayed as an old skool, lefty rabble rouser and so his speeches now centre around what he considers vote winning core policies such as ‘English’ identity.

Here’s the first part of Ed Miliband’s speech on “Defending the Union in England” and my own notes in italics….


It is wonderful to be here in the Royal Festival Hall. Built for the Festival of Britain in 1951, just a year before Her Majesty the Queen ascended to the throne.

Ascended to the throne? Like Jesus ascended to heaven? I’ve heard of suceeding to the throne but not ascending unless the Queen really was chosen by God personally and is indeed not of mortal woman born.  

1951 and the Festival of Britain and the Coronation in 1953 were landmark events for our country. They helped to shape its modern identity. 2012 is a year when once again that identity is in the spotlight. This week we commemorated the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. It was a fantastic celebration.

So the coronation helped shape ‘modern Britain’ did it? In what way did this feudal ritual map out Britain’s modernity? Well, he had to get his ‘I love the Queen’ credentials in I suppose, don’t let the Mail get him on that one. And less of the ‘our’ and ‘we’ lad.

I thought it spoke to so many qualities of our country: Our sense of community. Our gentle sense of patriotism. Our stoicism and sense of humour in the face of terrible weather. And the Union flag flying everywhere.

As James Naughties in an unusually prickly interview for such an establishment toady asked him on Radio4, why are these so-called ‘qualities’ English? Don’t other abstract nations have these abstract qualities too and are they true any way? Ah but do they have the union flag? Not the union jack, this is aimed at those unionists who want to keep the union of England and Scotland together because well, Labour relies on those Scottish MPs to get elected.  

In two days time things will be a bit different. The European Football Championship will start. England is there. But not Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland. It won’t be about the Union flag so much any more. Here in England, the cross of St George will go up. It will fly from houses, cars, shops and pubs. Then, before we know it, the Olympics and Paralympics will be upon us. And we will be back to Team GB and the Union flag once more.

Tone it down a bit here, don’t wanna piss off the jocks, taffs and paddys, we’re all in it together, part of one big team GBPLC family after all.

This is an incredible year to live in this country. It is a once in a generation summer. But these multiple allegiances, the coming and going of flags, raise serious questions too. What does this summer say about the United Kingdom? What does it say about our identity as a people in 2012?

Er, it says that people who feel so desperate to celebrate mythical tribal identities are shallow and needy.

The irony is that in one part of the United Kingdom, Scotland, the debate about who we are is in full force. To stay in the United Kingdom or to leave? To be Scottish or British or both? But this debate about nationhood and identity should not simply be confined to one part of our country. Those of us who believe in the United Kingdom must make the case throughout our country. That’s why today, as we stand between the Jubilee, the European Championships and the Olympics, I want to reflect on who we are as a country, and where we should be trying to go.

This is typical reclaim the union jack bullshit – what about those of us who don’t recognise the artificial nation state as a form of phoney identity, who view economic ‘class’ as more unifying than bogus borders and invented ‘cultures.’ Where am I going Ed?

My case is this: First, we are stronger together as a United Kingdom and that essential strength comes from our ability to embrace multiple identities. The nationalist case, wherever we find it, is based on the fallacy that one identity necessarily erodes another. I believe we can all be proud of our country, the United Kingdom. And of the nations that comprise it.

Multiple identities? How come the muslims are always being told they must accept being British first and muslim second? How come those from other countries and former colonies are browbeaten into accepting a severe and selective form of Britishness that they must sign up to and why should this apply to ANYONE? Why should I be ‘proud of my country?’ it’s like being proud of being left handed, I had fuck all to do with it.  

Second, that means England too. And those on the left have not been clear enough about this in the recent past. We must be in the future. We should embrace a positive, outward looking version of English identity. Finally, we should also proudly talk the language of patriotism. It is part of celebrating what binds us together and what we project outwards to the world.

Here’s his ‘Paul Dacre please don’t hurt me!’ pitch *(the Mail ofcourse dismissed it as mere vote grabbing – see below). The left need to re-define themselves as patriots, English patriots, fly the cross of St George, support the monarchy, the armed forces and the political and economic power base because that wins votes in marginal seats.

Let me start with my own story. All my life I have had cause to be grateful to our country. Neither my Mum nor my Dad came from Britain. As I have said on other occasions, they arrived here as refugees from the Nazis. My Dad was 16 when he caught one of the last boats from Ostend to Britain. He was a Jew.

Play the holocaust card. Very grateful to the Brits, y’know the ones who pretended not to know what was going on in the death camps and sent boats back for jews to die rather than allow them into our Christian protestant country.

German soldiers were moving through Belgium. His very life under threat. Britain took him in. He joined the Royal Navy, trained for part of the time in Scotland, and then settled in London. My mother arrived in Britain having spent the war in hiding under a false name, sheltered by heroic people. Her father was murdered because he was Jewish. Britain took her in too. It offered them both not only refuge but a new home. And it gave them a place to raise a family. That was a wonderful gift. But Britain offered my mum and dad more than that. Our country allowed them to stay true to who they were. They did not have to hide their past. They did not have to pretend they were someone else. Jewish but not religious.

Yes, Ed’s arl fellar, Ralph was a well-known Commie writer who would no doubt shudder at the way in which his two sons have ditched any pretence of socialism (never mind communism) to live in this new left Utopia. What was so special or unique about this ‘British’ tolerance as if not gassing his parents and allowing them to declare their jewishness is somehow noble and virtuous? There’s a chasm between outright genocide and the ‘gentle patriotism’ so beloved of Miliband Jnr. They were ‘allowed’ to stay true to who they were. Big deal. What’s so ‘British’ about that? It’s a pity Miliband’s mates with their union jacks don’t want to allow others to be who they are.     

I am a Londoner by birth. I lived in Leeds during formative years growing up. And became a long-suffering Leeds United fan. I spent time in America and taught at Harvard for a while. Added the Boston Red Sox to my sports teams.

Hey, he’s a man of the people Ed, he likes soccer ball and baseball and taught at Harvard for a while. Harvard, that well known centre for meritocratic excellence. Good on yer, Ed, youz got some credentials lad.

I got elected as MP for Doncaster North. Fell in love with Justine, not Jewish, from Nottingham and we had our two boys. So you could say my family have not sat under the same oak tree for the last 500 years. This is who I am. The son of a Jewish refugee and Marxist academic. A Leeds supporter, from North London. A baseball fan. Somebody who looks a bit like Wallace from Wallace and Gromit.

Oh, he’s mentioned his dad and the ‘M’ word. But hey, Justine’s not Jewish so y’know he’s like totally open to gentiles yeah? And he’s an MP, just like that! No family have sat under the same oak tree for 500 years prick! We’re all monkey fucks from the jungle.

If spin doctors could design a politician, I suspect he wouldn’t look like me. But I know what I am proud of. I am proud to represent the people of Doncaster North. I am proud to lead the Labour Party. I am proud to be Jewish. I am proud to be English. And I am proud to be British too.

Look I know I get stick for my appearance but I’m the son of my father, not a GCI identikit smoothy like Blair, Cameron or Clegg, my nose is flat, my hair is shit, my voice is annoying but at least I’m not plastic like the others eh? Meet Mr. Ed, he walks like a geek, he talks like a geek, he grunts and squeeks and squarks like a geek, but he’s a human being too and he’s so very proud of his own ‘mulitple identities’ as a Leeds fan from North London,  an MP, a party leader, a Jew, an Englishman and a Briton. Bravo!!!

Now there’s much more of this hysterical and selective revisionism in Milibean’s speech and if you really want to, it’s worth reading just to see how Ed’s spin doctors are going to fight the next election, not by offering even a New Labour consensus vision of ‘Modern Britain’ but by capitulating to the ‘we’re all in it together’ myth of collective effort and mutual rewards.  Go get ’em Ed, the right wing press is gonna love this shit………………

Oh dear!

Y’know what Ed, no matter how much you suck up to these fuckers, they will always despise you with every fibre of their hollow husks. You are their enemy no matter how you cloak yourself, so let’s get this straight, those union members and leaders who you so despise and lecture fund your party and they don’t want another 13 years of Blair/Brownism after the chaos caused by their flexible market/no restrictions on the city policies. You better start looking after the interests of the millions of core Labour voters who have derserted the party over the past three elections rather than chasing the floaters of middle England or maybe they’ll donate their millions on someone who will.


Trading Places – The Daily Mail, race and class.

Type in the words ‘middle class’ into the Daily Heil’s on-line search engine and it’ll give you a staggering 38,608 results found. Now call me a typically bone idle, prole but I only went through a few pages and what a depressing experience it was. What the Mail feeds on is the irrational belief that its ‘middle class’ core readership are somehow being singled out and ripped off by illegal immigrants, benefit scroungers, sneering liberal metrosexuals, work-shy trade unionists and anyone else who doesn’t conform to their narrow, selective concept of national identity and ‘British’ values.

Here are some the links to various articles that the search threw up….

Middle class children have ‘better genes’ says former schools chief…and we just have to accept it.

It’s not just chavs  who cheat at benefits! Those looking to milk the system ARE NOT JUST THE SINGLE MOTHERS OF FIVE IN COUNCIL HOUSES EXPECTING THE STATE TO PICK UP THE BILL FOR THEIR IRRESPONSIBLE LIFESTYLES, even the middle classes are looking to claim benefits to which they have little entitlement.

BBC axed My Family for being too middle class says show’s star, Zoe Wanamaker.

Nanny state targets middle class drinkers with £10m campaign.

Middle class students punished by yhr great grant and fees squeeze.

Thousands of middle class students WILL lose out in university equlaity drive warns UCAS chief

Middle class youngsters barred from applying for internships at Whitehall and the police because they are white.

Middle class ‘foodies’ who forage for exotic mushrooms ‘could threaten our woodlands’

Why did middle class security guard turn into an islamic extremist who won’t be seen on TV with his mother if she’s not wearing a veil?

Want work experience at the Foreign Office? Not if you’re a middle class, white male!

‘There’s nothing wrong with being white and middle class’ Michael McIntyre hits back at his comedy critics.

Who does Homeland security think poses the greatest risk? Video portrays white middle class as the most likely terrorists.

On and on it goes, page after page of this whining drivel.  Yes, we all know the Mail’s an easy target and exists to stir up the  impotent rage of its suburban readership. These people, its beloved ‘white middle class’ (lower and middle-middle class ofcourse, not the Telegrpah and Times reading upper-middle) are the ones who cling most desperately to the 80s Tory tradition of Thatcherism yet want it both ways. They claim to represent the ‘hard working, law abiding, tax payers’ but also worship at the feet of lazy, idiotic aristocrats, corporate tax dodgers and  dumb celebrities.

They are truly terrified of being cast into the same economic pit as the plebs which feeds into this hysterical demonisation of the ‘other.’ This fear is exploited by the real money men (the publishers and owners)  who ratchet up the divide and rule rhetoric in a twisted attempt to cast this ‘silent majority’ as the ones who are being victimised and discriminated against.  Despite every branch of the establishment being populated and governed by middle class white people, THEY are the ones who are powerless and voiceless.

The Mail, Express, Telegraph, Times, Spectator, FT, Sun, Economist spew this cynical tide of bile day after day and then they the balls to moan about ‘far right yobboes’ and ‘racist killers.’ The Mail even tried to gain kudos for its ‘Murderers’ headline in the wake of the first Stephen Lawrence trial, as if their relentless anti-black reporting of the past 40 odd years hadn’t help to create a climate of distrust, fear and hate amongst those ‘white working class’ areas where black faces were viewed with hostility and suspicion. No, they don’t take any responsibility for those ‘working class’ types who might actually act on the twisted views spewed out by Littlejohn and his ilk of foaming-at-the-mouth hate preachers.

Type ‘black males’ or ‘black youth’ into the Mail’s search engine and reports such as this maybe contribute to such prejudices.

Black and male are bywords for failure says equality chief  – black maleness has become the definition of failure in society the lead of government race watchdog will claim today.

Black youths from broken homes ‘who turn to street crime’ – black teenagers commit high levels of street crime and carry guns because they come from broken homes and have little faith in the police it has been claimed.

More than half of young black men able to work in Britain are unemployed government reveals.

Don’t blame Oxford – the real racists are the hand-wringing liberals who expect black pupils to fail.

Perhaps the most telling of all these selectively headlined reports was this one however,

Black minority children watch 50% more TV per day than white children (and almost 90% have sets in their bedroom) study finds.

Researchers at Northwestern University (who?) CLAIM that minority youth astonishingly spend more than half their day consuming media content, a rate that’s four and a half hours greater than their white counterparts.

LINK :–study-finds.html

This report was an American study but is used to apply to all black children and the message it sends out is pretty clear; blacks are inherently lazy and feckless, preferring to wallow in their pits watching telly or the internet than studying hard like white kids to improve their lot in life. That’s the reason black kids are poor and why they turn to crime but don’t blame the economic system that enslaved their forebears and forced them into a cycle of deprivation. No, it’s the hand-wringing liberals with their ‘equality’ agenda who are really to blame.

In ‘Trading Places’ Eddie Murphy and Dan Ackroyd are used as pawns in a one dollar bet between two old money Wall Street stock brokers. The basis of the bet as that Ackroyd, with all his wealth, education, contacts and ‘breeding’ will succeed in life whatever’s thrown at him whereas Murphy is doomed to failure because (in the words of one of the rich, white patriarchs) ‘he’s a negro!’

As a parable on capitalism and social mobility, luck and intellect, prejudice and opportunity it has some fine moments but never once does it question the basic tenets of capitalism that creates the divide betwen the Ivy League tennis club types and the street beggars who share the same New York streets.

The lesson is simple; work hard enough and accept the system and you will succeed; it’s the lie that has sustained The American Dream for three hundred years and it’s the same lie spouted by the Mail and the right, these lucky beneficiaries of generations of wealth, mostly stolen or brutally exploited from the sweat of the enslaved and the poor, being handed down to them.

No wonder they’re scared, imagine who’d they’d cope if there really was a meritocracy and they couldn’t buy themselves and their kids a head-start in life.

Apathy In The UK

Pall Mall yesterday

Is it safe to come out yet? Don’t get me wrong, I’m as sick of moaning about the innate bias of the British media as the next armchair Stalinist but hiding from the ‘jubilee celebrations’ was virtually impossible. Now I realise that the state propagandists have a job to do and that their coverage was a total success if you regard the Nuremburg rallies as the kind of public spectacle to be proud of.  I couldn’t even get angry about it, just tried avoiding this cynical fiasco altogether Yes, cynical. People think I’m cynical but I’m no two- bob Diogenes, no it’s the people who send young working class kids to die in the desert ‘for queen and country’ as a cover for protecting the economic interests of the super rich who are the real cynics.

That’s the queen’s real constitutional role, not as the propagandists would have us believe to ‘act as a focal point for national unity’  but to act as the city’s ho. For 60 years she’s been pimped out to glad hand torturers, murderers, tyrants and despots to grease lucrative contracts and in her name wars have been fought in Suez, the Falklands, Iraq and Afghanistan to protect those interests. Not that this blasphemous opinion would ever get voiced or even token, mild republicanism in the lead up to and during the four day Queenfest.

No, even the few times I caught the telly or heard the news on 6music any heretical opinions were sidelined in favour of the type of sycophantic, unquestioning, hagiographies that would shame the Chinese or North Koreans. Even when they did mention the small counter demonstration organized by Republic, they then interviewed some monarchy ‘expert’ denouncing Republic’s ‘killjoy tactics. ’  In the good old days Channel 4 may have found a home for dissenters and refuseniks but no, those days are long gone as every broadcaster scrapes about for crucial public interest funding and tows the party line.

6music, as with the royal wedding last year, attempted a kind or ironic detachment and Lauren Lavern’s show featured ‘pop royalty’ who’d reached that magical 60 year age marker, y’know people like David Byrne.  There just had to be some kind of tenuous link, however strained and even though the ‘deejays’ tried to be a tad tongue in cheek, they were obviously all under orders not to be openly hostile.

Even good old Johnny Rotten attempted to distance himself from his anti-jubilee anthem of 77, God Save The Queen, claiming that it wasn’t really aimed at Liz herself. Anger is an energy and irony is a form of lethargy. Never trust an old punk, especially one who’s lived in LA for the past three decades.

The Gary Barlow organized ‘jubilee concert’ sounded exactly as unoriginal and ‘diverse’ as past jubilee concerts, something for everyone, young and old, black and white, the terminally dull and lazily conformist.  People who like watching shit pop concerts for nish in fact. Black people were part of the ‘party’ too of course and the media went overboard on showing just how much those patriotic black and asian communities were and how much they all loved the queen just as much as white folks.

In fact every single person in the entire world united in gratitude for the queen’s services to mankind, like Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Bob Geldof, The Woman Off Countdown and Lady Gaga all rolled into one ultimate brilliant human being. Even God was amongst those singing the Queen’s praises, as is only right as He actually selected her out of all the people on earth to be His representative and chief priest.

Yet despite the media’s relentless onslaught, I didn’t see any evidence of the jubilee frenzy where I lived. There were estimated to have been 5000 street parties across the UK but there are as many streets as that in my town. In my own street, out of 60 houses, there were two with bunting (I didn’t even know what bunting was till last year) and one with a tatty union jack hanging from the bedroom window. I think that was probably an accurate representation of the level of interest and enthusiasm amongst most people.

Yes, I know there are millions of monarchists out there who love this stuff and the parades of coerced schoolkids given the day off, pensioners, tourists  and royalty cranks who lined the Mall and other jubilee events are entitled to wave their plazzy flags and buy into the concept of hereditary entitlement and it’s just a great, big party and the Windsors are essentially harmless and all the rest but what about those of us who either didn’t give a flying fuck or were anti-monarchy? Where was our representation on the BBC, don’t our licence fees count too? Diversity of opinion only applies within a context of editorial control and BBC editors know what side their bread is buttered.

On Granada Reports yesterday there was a special report from a street party in Prestwich that seemed to have been selected because it was of the few taking place in the region and when a reporter went to a deserted pier head to cover the lighting of jubilee beacons, it was stated that this event was ‘unpublicised’ as no doubt the lack of street celebrations will be put down to overcast skies.  Never mind, each and every programme had some tedious jubilee theme. Countryside? The queen loves the countryside (she ‘owns’ half of it after all). Horse racing? The queen adores horses. Water? The queen absolutely loves travelling down the Thames in the rain with a thousand boat flotilla. Jessie J? The queen is all over that beeyatch!

But it doesn’t end there, no chance. Today, it was all about the ‘Iron Duke’ (the media’s new term for Prince Philip, perhaps the most obnoxious royal of the past century) who jibbed the day with a ‘bladder infection.’ Poor Eddie got sent to visit him in hozzy, after all no-one would miss him, not when the Kate Show was in town. The ‘future queen’ angle is now being pushed relentlessly by the monarchy PR machine, as they realise Charles and Camilla are tainted and a more compliant, photogenic couple can keep the whole disgusting whorefest on the road.  There are contracts at stake after all.